musings on software development, writing and life

I don’t normally do this. But for some reason today it appealled – so I did. It’s probably because I didn’t receive it as a chain email, but saw it on Trisha’s blog. It’s probably a bad idea putting this much guff up on the internet but make of it what you will.

BASICS

Your gender: Male
Straight/gay/bi? Straight
Single? Nope
Want to be? Nope – want to be even less single than I currently am
Your birthday: 4th May 1979

Your age: 25
Your height: 6?3? or 6′4″, can’t remember, don’t have a measure
The color of your eyes: Something between gray/hazel and steely blue – they change
The color of your hair: Brown, currently with big blonde streaks
Left/right/ambidextrous? Right-handed naturally, ambi for some things

Have any pets? Loki, my cat
What?s your job: Computer Programmer / Development Manager
Piercings? One, left ear
Tattoos? No, but possibly

Obsessions? Is this a trick question?? Many – right now it’s alchemy/kabbalah/freemasonry/rosicrucianism/golden dawn/the essenes (although this set of obsessions looks a lot more permanent). Another minor obsession is lockpicking…
Addictions? I’m addicted to R, in every way. Addicted to sniggles and playing with B. Also addicted to coffee, learning, good music and oddly enough, the gym
Do you speak another language? People sometimes claim I do. Am looking at learning Hebrew, Latin and possibly Aramaic – wouldn’t mind learning Irish too
Have a favorite quote? I have three – “You can always get more money, but you can never get more time”, “Being in love is feeling the sun shining on you from both sides” and “Four things come not back – the sped arrow, the spoken word, time spent and the opportunity missed — Omar, 2BC”
Do you have a webpage? Several – primary among which are this blog, www.poetic-license.org and www.lyricist.com.au

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it

Do you live in the moment? I try to appreciate the moment always, but I can’t always dwell only there. My love of my family, and my deep thirst for knowledge cause me to spend much time looking to the past and the future
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? Yes. Mostly
Do you have any secrets? Plenty
Do you hate yourself? Not any more

Do you like your handwriting? Not really. I can write neatly if I force it, but if I can’t write as fast as I type, so I write very messily
Do you have any bad habits? Drinking out of the milk carton. Procrastination. Molesting R when she’s trying to do something important / annoying / dangerous
What is the compliment you get most from people? Usually something along the lines of either being intelligent or well spoken, or being reliable / trustworthy. Sometimes on looks, although more when I’m not carrying as much weight
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? The Shining? The Jackdaw Diaries? (or magpie diaries for all you ill-educated aussies)

What?s your biggest fear? Being a poor husband or a bad father / letting R or B down in any way. Brain Damage / Paralysis
Can you sing? Reasonably if I work at it
Are you a daredevil? Not at my current weight – otherwise it depends on the reward
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? Fear: Never being fit and pain-free again. Hate: Self-destructiveness (mostly past now) and my physical girth/weight/lack of fitness
Are you passive or aggressive? A little of both at different times. If it involves a man hitting a woman – always the latter

Have you got a journal? This blog and a notebook I carry with me. Don’t write in the notebook as much as its easier to get thoughts out through a keyboard
What is your greatest strength and weakness? Strength – my ability to analyze myself and my actions or emotions, or my honour. Weaknesses – sometimes self doubt, sometimes the fact that when I give someone my trust I give it 100% – but I personally consider the latter more of a strength
How do you vent? If I think about it, I play an involving and/or violent video game or write, if I don’t think about it – swear my head off
Do you think you are emotionally strong? Yes
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? Not sorting my life out sooner and comitting to R earlier and not being born with super powers

Do you think life has been good so far? It’s been interesting – the results currently are wonderful
What is the most important lesson you?ve learned from life? Love and honour above all else
What do you like the most about your body? It’s size – proportionally speaking. When I am in shape, I am a good height and very broad in the shoulders / chest, which I enjoy. I like being big – and I like the fact that I have naturally slim and nimble hands
And least? Right now my belly, more permanently, scars
Do you think you are good looking? When I’m fit, I’m decent looking. Right now I’m… marshmallow looking

Are you confident? Yes
What is the fictional character you?re most like? Um… Shrek?
Do people know how you feel? Generally yes
Are you perceived wrongly? Not usually

DO YOU?
Smoke? Not any more – apart from the occasional cigar
Do drugs? Many Many drugs… but most of them prescription
Read the newspaper? Not if I can help it, it depresses me
Pray? Sometimes

Go to church? No
Talk to strangers who IM you? Not usually
Sleep with stuffed animals? No, but I own plenty (most sit around my computer) and R sometimes has some in the bed that I’ve given her
Take walks in the rain? Yes – I love the rain
Talk to people even though you hate them? Occasionally have to – otherwise tend to avoid people I hate unless absolutely necessary for someone else’s sake

Drive? I would had I a license
Like to drive fast? not really – I enjoy the speed when the roads are lonely, but mostly I’m mindblown by the idiots on the road, so I try not to add to the problem

WOULD OR HAVE YOU EVER?

Hurt yourself? In the past
Been out of the country? Yes, England, Scotland, US, Canada and various stopovers at airports in asia

Been in love? Yes
Gone skinny dipping? Yes
Had a medical emergency? Yes
Had a surgery? Yes
Ran away from home? Yes

Played strip poker? Yes
Gotten beaten up? Yes
Beaten someone up? Yes – but never anyone undeserving. I have occasionally lost my temper with someone holding a knife or beating a woman
Been picked on? A lot. Was a good little christian boy as a child, overweight sometimes and a geek, and a loner
Thought about suicide? Yes. Not any more

Pulled an all-nighter? Many – work, play and otherwise
If yes, what is your record? Long enough to see things and talk to people who weren’t there, plus slip into unconsciousness
Gone one day without food? Sometimes a couple of days – worst was only three
Talked on the phone all night? Yes
Slept all day? Many times – sometimes for a whole weekend

Made out with a stranger? Yes
Had sex with a stranger? Yes
Thought you?re going crazy? Yes
Kissed the same sex? Kissed yes, snogged no
Done anything sexual with the same sex? No

Been betrayed? Yes
Had a dream that came true? Several
Broken the law? Yes – allegedly
Met a famous person? Yes
Have you ever killed an animal by accident? As roadkill, or possibly in an explosion… allegedly

On purpose? Yes, but only in self defence. Oh and fish.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn?t tell? When I was a child
Stolen anything? Yes – allegedly
Been on radio/tv? Yes
Been in a mosh-pit? Yes

Had a nervous breakdown? Yes
Considered religious vocation? Yes – gave serious thought to becoming a monk, either in an isolationist order or shaolin
Been criticized about your sexual performance? No
Bungee jumped? No
Had a dream that kept coming back? Many

CLOTHES and other fashion junk

Shoe brand? I’m not particularly fussed – I favour Nike in trainers at the moment as they’re usually the only ones that fit, and last for any length of time
Brand of clothing? Pfft.. whatever “High and Mighty” have on sale
Cologne/perfume? Joop, Opium and something my brother gave me called 1893 or some such date – it’s nice

How about panties? Not usually
Wear hats? sometimes a cap or bandana – have in one period in my past worn a beret
Judge other people by their clothing? I try to remember not to, but I often wonder things about people based on their clothing
Wear make-up? No
Favourite place to shop? Old bookshops and toy shops. Also partial to fredericks.com for presents for R

Favourite article of clothing? my big overcoat – used to be my brown leather jacket (complete with bloadstains and knife wounds!) but it’s now too small
Are you trendy? Ummmmmmm…. nope
Would you rather wear a uniform to school? Absolutely

BELIEFS

Believe in life on other planets? Possibly cellular life, not intelligent
Miracles? Yes
Astrology? Astrology yes, but not divination or personal horoscopes
Magic? Yes (but depends on your definition)

God? Yes, although not necessarily the standard catholic definition
Satan? Not entirely sure – well, not sure about an actual evil entity anyways
Santa? No
Ghosts? Leaning toward yes
Luck? No

Love at first sight? Yes
Yin and Yang? yin and yang – balance – is present in everything, it’s not a matter of belief
Witches? Yes, although not the Fiona Horne kind
Easter bunny? No
Believe it?s possible to remain faithful forever? Yes

Believe there?s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Metaphorically, sometimes – literally no
Do you wish on stars? No

DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? I believe in an overall supreme being or consciousness, beyond that I’m not sure
Do you think God has a gender? No, I think the nature of God surpasses our current human ability to comprehend

Do you think that science counteracts religion? Science counteracts dogma, but in my opinion it supports the core tenets of religion – IE God and creation
Do you believe in organized religion? I believe in the value of shared worship, but I don’t believe in “The Church” – particularly Anglican and Catholic
Where do you think we go when we die? Nowhere – but I don’t believe we perish either. But this blog entry is already long enough…

LOVE, and all that

Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title? No

Do you consider love a mistake? It is a mistake to deny love in any form
What do you find romantic? Time alone together, random gifts, poetry, candlelight, music, silence, holding hands, stuff like that
Turn-on? Eyes, neck/shoulders, long hair, intelligence, will, compassion, a pretty face and a few of the obvious things…
Turn-off? Eating with your mouth open, bad breath, millitant feminism, hate, ignorance and bad english
First kiss? Was 15 I think, Tracey Pawley in Cornwall – a girl I’d played with as a child, and saw when I returned to cornwall many years later.

If you had no interest in dating someone who expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Flattered
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them? I prefer knowing someone I’m going to date, but not dating someone I’m close friends with
Have you ever wished it was more ?socially acceptable? for a girl to ask a guy out? Desperately
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? Yes
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? Some – the only one that matters tells me so, so that’s enough

What is best about the opposite sex? Soft skin, a different kind of strength, beauty inside and out, emotions, pregnancy, complexity, the mothering instinct
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? Their tendancy to tease me mercilessly…
Do you read porn? No
What?s the last present someone gave you? “The Other Bible”, contains the apocryphal texts, book of enoch, nag hammadi etc
Are you in love? Utterly

Do you consider your significant other hot? Insanely so
What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk? Wonder how I’d ended up in the US. If I saw one on the pavement however, I’d look at them and keep moving

RIGHT THIS MOMENT?

Are you going out? About to go home from work
What are you wearing right now? Black jeans, blue shirt, trainers and the usual accompaniments. Gold bracelet, gold earring, glasses

Body-part you?re touching right now: My mouth – covering yawns
What are you worried about right now? That I can get finances together quickly enough to get married and start having more kids with R!
What book are you reading? A Garden of Pomegranetes, Skrying on the Tree of Life, by Isreal Regardie (edited and added to by Chic and Samantha Tabatha Cicero)
Are you bored? Don’t have time

Are you tired? Very, and hot
Are you talking to anyone online? Yes
Are you talking to anyone on the phone? No
Are you lonely or content? Content
Are you listening to music? No

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