Public loo conspiracy theories
Whilst abusing the facilities in my local Borders at Chadstone Shopping center, a thought occurred to me that had never occurred before. Either I’m competely thick and this has occurred to everyone but me, or I’ve uncovered a dark conspiracy at the heart of public convenience logistics.
I was sitting quietly, mentally grumping as usual at the poor quality toilet paper, and I thought it was almost as if they didn’t want me to wipe my backside properly. I mean, it’s hard to get out of the stupid dispenser, it’s waaaay too thin and you have to use loads of it for any level of safety while abluting (is that a word?). But then this thought led to more – it suddently hit me that the same people who make the toilet roll thingies also make the soap and dispensers you find on the wall by the sink. I’ve noticed this before but the true evil behind it never clicked. They give us rubbish toilet paper because they *want* us to either have a mishap or just not feel clean enough, and hence use more toilet paper *and* use more soap! And so the viscious cycle continues as we rack up the fees these companies earn from the suppliers of the toilets.
How evil. Of course, it could be just a silly coincidence, but I think I’m onto something here. If I suddenly stop blogging, the Rentokil people have probably had me silenced…
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