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A few days ago, we noticed our cat, Loki was limping around a lot. We’d seen she’d been having some difficulty getting up on the couch but had attributed it to the cold weather making her fixed knee ache but then it got a bit more serious. She got to the point where she was growling and yowling and I realised it was because she was hurting. We tried to comfort her but she went and hid behind the television, growling and complaining every time she moved.

We took her to the vet, and he gave her a good examination including some xrays. John the vet couldn’t actually find anything wrong with her on the xrays and she had no visible injuries, but was yowling more and more to the point where she’d scream bloody murder when she adjusted her position.

The vet treated her with cortisone, in the hope that it would reduce inflammation on a trapped nerve, but the xrays also showed really bad “bridging” on her spine – where the discs had grown excess bone and were joining up. I’ve been terribly worried about her, and in the last couple of days she has stopped making quite so much noise. Unfortunately though, she has been losing more and more function in her hind section, and the vet finally said today that it was hopeless.

We’ve had her at home the last two nights, which I’m very glad of, as we’ve been able to cuddle her and give her lots of love and attention (and chicken!). This morning though we had to say goodbye. It was terribly sad, and we took her outside for a cuddle while we prepared ourselves – it ws fairly obvious that she knew it was time to go. R & B and i all gave her lots of snuggles and we talked to the muppet about cats and love and souls and stuff. All of us had a good old cry – me probably most of all, like the big soppy thing that I am. I was heartbroken to have to say goodbye to my little fuzzy – she’s been with me over 8 years now, and she’s really become the family cat. R and B were both very upset and stood close while I held Loki as the injection was administered. She’d already prepared herself it seems – she had laid her head down on my shoulder as if ready to go to sleep, it was all very odd.

She went, and I felt her go. We all cried and eventually I put her down on the table on some towels the vet had brought in. We patted her some more and said our final goodbyes – it was very hard to wrap my head aorund the idea that I wasn’t going to see her poking about the house any more. Eventually we finished saying goodbye and wrapped her up, looking like she was just having a sleep, all cute and cuddly. The vet actually suggested shaving some of her fur off to take with us and bury as we decided it was best to leave her with them, so the assisstant did that for us an we wrapped it in a tissue – we’ll have a little ceremony later today I think.

B has been very good – he had a good cry and has spent some time comforting us – now he’s happily reading asterix.

It’s funny, but right now I feel a lot better. I had a bit of a sob, and now I’m comforted – I feel as though she’s still here (cliche, I know) and I’m relieved and happy that she’s out of pain. I felt very much at the end as though she was content and waiting to go, and as R says she has lived a good kitty life with us, especially in the last few years as she became the family cat.

So goodbye Loki – thank you for the years of love and warm fuzzies, and the comfort you gave to all three of us at different times. We will miss you very much – see you next time round little kitty.

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