Christmas is coming

Well Christmas is on its way – and I know what I’m getting so I want it to be tomorrow!

Yes yes, I know I’ve been very slack. I have at least half a dozen entries in my head, which I will endeavour to get out tomorrow. But having promised R I’d update today I’m doing this late as I forgot until I was ready for bed

Work’s pretty crazy – lots of new responsibilities now that Sarah has left – yeah tell me about it. More on that later, but apparently she’s having a great time at her new location so best of luck to her. Now to wrangle myself HD pay…

There’s been so much going on I hardly know where to begin – I;m kinda loathe to update too much before I go back and pick up from where I left off. Part of the reason I’ve been slack is just that I’ve been busy, but part I think is that the first entry i need to catch up on is the funeral, and while it all went very nicely I guess I’m putting it off. This thought has only occurred to me as I’m typing, so now I’ve identified it I guess I’ll need to do something about it – expect more updates tomorrow.

In the meantime, a minor digression – went to the Christmas BBQ of the wonderful Miss Trish the other night. Was nice to get out there and see her – and her house rocks. However there were a few people there that in all honesty I should have realised would turn up – yet I wasn’t expecting. Warrnambooleans… It’s not that I particularly dislike any of them – in fact one in particular is like a sister. It’s more that I’m still shying away from all of that somewhere in my mind and I don’t feel ready to face it.

There’s a lot to look into in that particular reflection, and I kinda feel I’d rather front up to it when I can discern the flaws from the more mundane. IE – once I’ve lost the weight and don’t look so much like a fat slob, and when conversation doesn’t start with me self consciously explaining why I’m so hideously out of shape, then I can face and deal with the reaction that is based on the actual events of that year and a half or so that I spent back in W’bool.

Hell, I freely admit there may be nothing to it – it may exist only in my imagination, as do a great many things. However, it exudes a strong and odeous enough presence in my mind to affect the way I feel about it, and that is enough to make a difference. So I don’t feel ready to take that on yet. Yes, it *is* partly an excuse, but there is truth in there as well. If nothing else I don’t yet feel ready to make the emotional effort it will take to suck it up and just get it done. And so I prevaricate – although at least now I make some progress toward that eventual goal by attending the gym every day and sweating my guts out.

I’ve reached that unfortunate stage of weight loss where my metabolism has shifted and I’m detox’ing – when I sweat a lot it smells vile Hopefully this phase doesn’t last long, but I guess I have to put up with it and will ultimately feel a lot better once it’s done. Hey, at least it’s an indicator that things are working…